Winning and Losing

 Galations 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. (NIV)

Three weeks ago, Jianne, our 5-year-old, attended her first Daily Vacation Bible School (DVBS) in our church. It was a 2-day affair with a culmination activity on the third day. During the culmination, the kids get to dance to the songs they learned for the past two days. Following the song and dance and video showing, the awarding ceremony followed. Awards were given to kids who were most attentive, most obedient and who were best in crafts. Two students from each grade level were awarded with a certificate and a toy. I was unaware that Jianne was anxiously waiting for her name to be called. Every time the awards were Prep were announced, she would sit at the edge of her chair getting ready to stand up. One of her seatmates got an award and she proudly showed it to Jianne. I think this really did it for her. After the awards were given, she looked at me with angry eyes. She blurted out, "I don't want to attend this anymore. I don't like it!" "Why?" I prodded knowing what the reason for her anger. I gently told her that it's okay if she doesn't get an award since it was her first time to join DVBS. She wouldn't listen and was moping until the event was over.

When this little girl's mood turns sour, it's difficult to bring her back. Her Papa tried to console her but she just wouldn't budge. As we exited the sanctuary, the kids were given loot bags and tumblers as souvenirs. Those were not enough to cheer her up. While in the car, her Papa and I explained to her that not all the time she will be receiving an award or prize for something she did. She did not listen and her face showed how disappointed she was.

We headed to the toy store afterwards to buy Coby's gift from my mother. Mommy sent Coby money for his birthday and asked if we could just pick out the gift for him. I told Jianne that we would pick out a gift for Kuya and that I could her something simple (meaning cheap) because she did well on her first DVBS and danced well too. She said she did not want any thing but after much prodding she finally gave in. What child wouldn't want any toy? So we got her something really simple and she was happy after that.

As construction worker

The following night, we got a set of Pick-Up-Sticks for the family. While the family was playing, I noticed that Jianne was getting frustrated again because she could not get any of the sticks on the floor. Every time she tries to pick up one, the other sticks would move. After a few tries, she just gave up. She stood up and walked out on us. We called her back and she was sulking. Her Papa and I, again, explained to her that she doesn't always have to win the game. I told her it's her first time to play Pick-Up-Sticks and it's not easy to play it. I taught them some techniques on how to make sure the other sticks won't move. I added that if she really wanted to be good at it, she has to practice and practice. The same thing she did in her ballet class. When she started her ballet lessons there were some steps that she found difficult to execute but because of practice she mastered the steps.

After that, almost every night, Jianne and I would play Pick-Up-Sticks together. She is getting the hang of it and she is getting more sticks now! The last game we played, I won but it didn't bother her anymore. She was just happy to have gotten more sticks than in the previous games.

We would always tell the kids that in a game there would be winners and losers. Sometimes we're the winners and at times we're at the losing end. It feels good to win, of course, but more importantly is how you played the game. If we really gave our best and yet somebody else got the trophy, it disheartening but that's how it is. We need to accept that. Maybe in another game, we will be winners too.

Philippians 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. (NIV)

Join the Philippine Homeschool Conference 2012

You might be hearing about homeschooling from friends or relatives and you are clueless about it. What is homeschooling all about? Join us at the Philippine Homeschool Conference 2012 on May 19, 2012 at the 5th floor of St. Francis Square Ortigas and discover the best education you can give your kids. Conference is a whole day affair from 8 am to 4pm. Learn from a homeschooler pioneer, Debra Bell, best-selling author of "Ultimate Guide to Homeschooling" and other Philippine-based homeschoolers and pioneers. Visit www.hapihomeschooler.com for more details. See you at the conference!

School Starts at Home: What You Should Know About Homeschooling

It was a sunny Tuesday morning at the first day of swim camp.  The coach guided the boys and girls to the other side of the pool, while their moms settled on the benches nearby.  One mom initiated a conversation with another mom, “So where does you child go to school?” The mom would then reply with a smile, “Oh, he is homeschooled.”  She paused for a while before replying while the other moms listened in the conversation.  “Oh, home school,” she looked puzzled.  “How about his socialization,” she further inquired.  The homeschooling mom asked back, “What about it?”

Socialization starts at home

As a homeschooling mom now for three years, the question on socialization would always be raised whenever I reveal that we are a homeschooling family.  I would patiently explain that socialization is never an issue with homeschooled kids as some would assume.  The Encarta dictionary says that to socialize means to take part in a social activity or behave in a friendly way to others.  ‘Social activity’ and ‘behaving in a friendly way to others’ is not confined solely inside the classroom amidst 40 or so classmates.  A child can be friendly in any social setting, may it be in the kitchen with mom and the helper, in the playroom with a younger or older sibling, in the neighbourhood, in church, in family get-togethers—name it, there is always a place where a child can “socialize”.  I believe that socialization really starts at home, as soon as the baby is born.  The baby’s first connects with the mom, the dad, brothers or sisters, the grandparents, helpers, relatives and friends.   The parents’ values, behaviour and manners are unintentionally or sometimes intentionally modelled to the children.  Homeschooling encourages bonding with the family and for parents to teach and model character traits that teach independence, responsibility, confidence and respect. 

Math in the Kitchen

One homeschooling program’s slogan says, “The world is my classroom!”  How fun would that be if the whole world or the universe is your classroom! Our son and I studied Science in the garden as we planted new seeds, cared for them and watched them grow.   He appreciated the lesson about caring for the earth so he practices the three R’s Reduce, Reuse, Recycle at home.   He is fond of creating artwork from old cereal boxes, cans or disposable containers.   We learned fractions in the kitchen by cutting one slice of bread into small squares and putting different spreads on top, 1/6 has peanut butter, 2/6 has strawberry jam and 3/6 has Cheez Whiz.  Our son loves to write love letters, so his grammar and writing skills are being developed constantly.  One homeschooling family shares that for social studies, they took a trip to Kawit, Cavite to visit the Aguinaldo shrine, the site where our country’s independence was declared.   Joy, another homeschooling mother of 4, takes her boys to the park along with crayons, paintbrushes and lots and lots paper to draw and paint whatever they see.  Homeschooling can be done anywhere.  Homeschooling families are not prisoners of the home.     

Homeschooling accredited by DEPED

The Department of Education has allowed homeschool programs to operate provided such programs are under the umbrella of a formal or traditional school.  Prospective homeschooling families can choose from a variety of homeschooling programs available including The Master’s Academy Homeschool Department located in St. Francis Square Ortigas, Pasig City (www.tmahomeschool.org), The Catholic  Filipino Academy in Chicago Street Cubao, Quezon City (http://catholicfilipinoacademy.com), Victory Christian School in Parkway Avenue Bonifacio Global City (8171212), The Living Heritage Academy of the Philippine School of Tomorrow located in Levitown Executive Village Don Bosco Paranaque City (8224433).  For more information on other homeschool programs, visit the Department of Education website www.deped.gov.ph.

More time to develop child’s skills and gifts/talents

The concept of homeschooling allows the children to spend more time in special skills or interests.  Since DEPED requires that homeschooling program adheres to the government curriculum, Music, Arts and P.E. (MAPE) classes are required.  Whether the child is interested in sports, music or art, he or she can attend any classes offered by the homeschooling programs or elsewhere.  MAPE classes are a venue for homeschooled kids to meet other kids.   Since these kids meet regularly they eventually become friends and can schedule playtime with them outside the MAPE classes.  Support whatever interests the kids are inclined to. Who knows they might turn out to be the next Albert Einstein, Beethoven, Eric Buhain, Lisa Macuja or Lea Salonga.  Aubrey, a homeschooling mom of two, says that homeschooling gave her daughter the freedom to explore her dreams of becoming a ballerina.  During her elementary days, Alex would have school in the morning with mom and pursue ballet in the afternoons and sometimes including weekends.  Now Alex is part of a prestigious ballet company in the country and has also been competing internationally in ballet competitions. 

Character is priority

When my mother who is in the U.S. learned that we plan to homeschool our first child, she was not really enthusiastic about it and I understand why.  She would argue that my brothers and I grew in traditional schools and we ended up okay.  But growing up in the 80’s is far more different than growing up these days.  Kids these days are so in a hurry to grow up that you can’t keep up with them.  An 11-year-old girl would beg her mom to allow her to have a boyfriend.  Young boys think it’s cool to smoke and tease other boys who don’t.  Sad to say but in the generation that we are living in now, it’s not all academics, it’s not how intelligent you are or whether you got a 97 or 98 in the card.  In one article I read about hiring employees, the interviewer does not really focus on what school you went to or what were your achievements, but the employer is looking at how you can deal with the people around you, they are not looking for IQ but for EQ. Tita Girlie, who is one of the pioneering homeschooling families in the Philippines just sent his son to one of the well-known universities in Quezon City.  Before entering the university, Josh confidently spoke in front of a panel of heads and professors of the university he is about to enter.  He shared with his mom that he is quite shocked by the way his schoolmates dress in school but he adds that he is thankful for the Bible verses and the lessons he and his mom studied in his homeschooling days.  Once Josh was asked who are his best friends, he proudly said that his best friends are his mom and dad.

  

A 100-Peso Afternoon with the Kids

After days of rain, rain and more rain, the sun finally came out today... well, let's just say, the sun just peaked through the clouds.  I thought of bringing the kids to the park or the soccer field in Ayala Alabang but I remembered the grass might still be wet and we might end up getting all muddy and messy.  How about an indoor playground then for the kids to stretch those sleepy muscles?  So we headed to the indoor playground in Alabang Town Center.

Alabang Town Center before the renovation

One of the perks of homeschooling, is that we can go to the mall anytime we want.  And the best time to go is when all the other kids -- who are not homeschooled-- are still in school.  The indoor playground in ATC was not full of kids and only a handful of toddlers were playing.  Jianne enjoyed running around without fear of bumping other kids.  She climbed up and down the ladder and the ropes.  She had the monopoly of one this one horsey-springy-whatever ride that is.  Don't worry there were three other horsey-springy-whatever-ride that-is that the other kids were able to hop on.

I thought when we arrived that Coby, our 8-year-old would run to the playground.  But he just sat on the bench with me and as I watched his sister.  I told him to go play but he does not want to.  At first, I thought he was only shy but I realized playgrounds don't excite him anymore.  He likes different activities now and it does not include playground time.  I realized our Coby is growing up.  Good thing his Papa saw that he was getting bored and decided to take him to Time Zone.  So no more playground, Time Zone is the new playground for our 8-year old.

But before we left the house, I told my husband that we will just go out, allow the kids to play, and not spend anything.  I don't want the kids to feel that every time we go out, we have to buy something or spend money. We can just enjoy our time together without spending... or so I thought.

Okay, so there we were at Time Zone, both kids wanted to play but I have to stick to my policy of "No Spending Today".  Aha moment! I allowed them to play just one game each and that's it.  Both kids agreed.  Coby spent 18 pesos on his car racing game while Jianne spent 17 pesos for her mini-carousel.  Total money spent on games, 35 pesos.  After both their games ended, they readily went out of Time Zone with smiles on their faces.  No crying, no pleading for more games.  Simply calm and satisfied.

As we hopped on the escalator, our little muncher, Jianne, said she wanted to eat.  This little girl loves to take a snack every so often.  She would always tell me that her tummy is biting her and she needs to eat.  Drama queen, don't you think? :)  Just then we saw the Panaderia Illustrado stand near the exit.  Each of them chose the glazed doughnut, so one glazed doughnut --- 30 pesos, times 2 is 60 pesos.

Panaderia Illustrado's doughnuts

I always bring with me their water bottles wherever we go.  Not only do we save money on drinks but the kids are always reminded to drink water all the time.

Total money spent with the kids on a Friday afternoon, 95 pesos--- very cheap.  But time spent with the family--- truly, truly priceless.