Winning and Losing

 Galations 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. (NIV)

Three weeks ago, Jianne, our 5-year-old, attended her first Daily Vacation Bible School (DVBS) in our church. It was a 2-day affair with a culmination activity on the third day. During the culmination, the kids get to dance to the songs they learned for the past two days. Following the song and dance and video showing, the awarding ceremony followed. Awards were given to kids who were most attentive, most obedient and who were best in crafts. Two students from each grade level were awarded with a certificate and a toy. I was unaware that Jianne was anxiously waiting for her name to be called. Every time the awards were Prep were announced, she would sit at the edge of her chair getting ready to stand up. One of her seatmates got an award and she proudly showed it to Jianne. I think this really did it for her. After the awards were given, she looked at me with angry eyes. She blurted out, "I don't want to attend this anymore. I don't like it!" "Why?" I prodded knowing what the reason for her anger. I gently told her that it's okay if she doesn't get an award since it was her first time to join DVBS. She wouldn't listen and was moping until the event was over.

When this little girl's mood turns sour, it's difficult to bring her back. Her Papa tried to console her but she just wouldn't budge. As we exited the sanctuary, the kids were given loot bags and tumblers as souvenirs. Those were not enough to cheer her up. While in the car, her Papa and I explained to her that not all the time she will be receiving an award or prize for something she did. She did not listen and her face showed how disappointed she was.

We headed to the toy store afterwards to buy Coby's gift from my mother. Mommy sent Coby money for his birthday and asked if we could just pick out the gift for him. I told Jianne that we would pick out a gift for Kuya and that I could her something simple (meaning cheap) because she did well on her first DVBS and danced well too. She said she did not want any thing but after much prodding she finally gave in. What child wouldn't want any toy? So we got her something really simple and she was happy after that.

As construction worker

The following night, we got a set of Pick-Up-Sticks for the family. While the family was playing, I noticed that Jianne was getting frustrated again because she could not get any of the sticks on the floor. Every time she tries to pick up one, the other sticks would move. After a few tries, she just gave up. She stood up and walked out on us. We called her back and she was sulking. Her Papa and I, again, explained to her that she doesn't always have to win the game. I told her it's her first time to play Pick-Up-Sticks and it's not easy to play it. I taught them some techniques on how to make sure the other sticks won't move. I added that if she really wanted to be good at it, she has to practice and practice. The same thing she did in her ballet class. When she started her ballet lessons there were some steps that she found difficult to execute but because of practice she mastered the steps.

After that, almost every night, Jianne and I would play Pick-Up-Sticks together. She is getting the hang of it and she is getting more sticks now! The last game we played, I won but it didn't bother her anymore. She was just happy to have gotten more sticks than in the previous games.

We would always tell the kids that in a game there would be winners and losers. Sometimes we're the winners and at times we're at the losing end. It feels good to win, of course, but more importantly is how you played the game. If we really gave our best and yet somebody else got the trophy, it disheartening but that's how it is. We need to accept that. Maybe in another game, we will be winners too.

Philippians 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. (NIV)

Join the Philippine Homeschool Conference 2012

You might be hearing about homeschooling from friends or relatives and you are clueless about it. What is homeschooling all about? Join us at the Philippine Homeschool Conference 2012 on May 19, 2012 at the 5th floor of St. Francis Square Ortigas and discover the best education you can give your kids. Conference is a whole day affair from 8 am to 4pm. Learn from a homeschooler pioneer, Debra Bell, best-selling author of "Ultimate Guide to Homeschooling" and other Philippine-based homeschoolers and pioneers. Visit www.hapihomeschooler.com for more details. See you at the conference!

The Holistic Homeschooler: 10 Ways to Ensure Homeschool Burnout

As I searched the net for activities for the kids during the break, I was led to this site. This would serve as a reminder for me as we get ready for another homeschooling year. Credits to Michelle for this blog.

The Holistic Homeschooler: 10 Ways to Ensure Homeschool Burnout: In the homeschool community, we hear about homeschool burnout. Many of us have experienced it. There are many things written about how this ...http://holistichomeschooler.blogspot.com/2012/03/10-ways-to-ensure-homeschool-burnout.html

Completed

Coby completed third grade! It was a turbulent homeschooling year for the family. There were just too much to deal with last year. Moving out of my parents' house and venturing out on our own. Chores, chores and more chores. Jianne started homeschooling too. In and out of the house because of ballet and art lessons. Noisy and stressful neighbor. Online job but gave it up eventually. And a growing 8-year-old boy.

 I am ashamed to narrate the gory details of how I acted during the school year not only as a mom but a teacher as well, but by the grace of God, I know I have been forgiven and I am forward.

The negative experiences not only highlighted my weakness and how I really needed God to watch over me every second of the day but it also opened my eyes to what God wants me to do. How he wants me to respond and not react, to speak softly and not to shout, to let go of situations I have no control of and to be patient with others and myself.

Here are some of my aha moments the past school year:

• Whether you're a homeschooling mom or not, it is a necessity to have a  personal quiet time with the Creator before you start your day. It may 10 minutes or 1 hour, as long as you commit the rest of the day to Him, I am sure the troubles of the day would have less impact on you compared to having no time with Him at all.

• I saw that our homeschooling year for the third year lacked planning and scheduling. Because I just had too much to do doesn't give me the excuse not to plan appropriately the lessons to be covered. Whether you're new at home education or a pro, I believe nothing beats a parent-teacher who is prepared with the lessons and has extra tricks up her sleeves when the need arises. Diligence in planning and consistency in implementing need to be developed. 

• If the emotions are running high, run away from it. Don't let your frustration and anger get the best of you and hurt your child. You know yourself. You know what makes you lose it. So before you finally explode and do crazy things, stop and run away from the situation. Tell your child, you just need to step away for a while, you need a time out. Go somewhere where they cannot see you and breathe. Calm down and PRAY! There is no urgent need that a mother whose top is about to blow! Cry out to God to help you and I assure you, He will give you the grace you need for that moment. 

• Parenting skills and homeschooling work together. If you have not developed good parenting skills, you might find it difficult to to teach your child at home. How can you expect your child to do what is asked of him or her if obedience is not a trait demanded at home. I am not a parent expert but I seek older parents who share the same values as I do. Read books or blogs on parenting that are biblical and whose aim is encourage you to  be a God-centered family. 

There are a lot more aha moments this year but I focused on these first. I know I would be adding more to the list as the days go by. 

As I computed Coby's final grades, I was amazed at the improvement. I showed him his grades and he was happy with it too. I thanked him for  being patient with me and bearing with my flaws. Although, he is not yet graduating, I feel it's like a graduation of some sort for both us. Graduating from the childish ways and facing the challenges in a mature and Christlike way. We are both looking forward to the fourth grade with a new perspective,  healed hearts and a new home. To God be the glory.