The Holistic Homeschooler: 10 Ways to Ensure Homeschool Burnout

As I searched the net for activities for the kids during the break, I was led to this site. This would serve as a reminder for me as we get ready for another homeschooling year. Credits to Michelle for this blog.

The Holistic Homeschooler: 10 Ways to Ensure Homeschool Burnout: In the homeschool community, we hear about homeschool burnout. Many of us have experienced it. There are many things written about how this ...http://holistichomeschooler.blogspot.com/2012/03/10-ways-to-ensure-homeschool-burnout.html

Completed

Coby completed third grade! It was a turbulent homeschooling year for the family. There were just too much to deal with last year. Moving out of my parents' house and venturing out on our own. Chores, chores and more chores. Jianne started homeschooling too. In and out of the house because of ballet and art lessons. Noisy and stressful neighbor. Online job but gave it up eventually. And a growing 8-year-old boy.

 I am ashamed to narrate the gory details of how I acted during the school year not only as a mom but a teacher as well, but by the grace of God, I know I have been forgiven and I am forward.

The negative experiences not only highlighted my weakness and how I really needed God to watch over me every second of the day but it also opened my eyes to what God wants me to do. How he wants me to respond and not react, to speak softly and not to shout, to let go of situations I have no control of and to be patient with others and myself.

Here are some of my aha moments the past school year:

• Whether you're a homeschooling mom or not, it is a necessity to have a  personal quiet time with the Creator before you start your day. It may 10 minutes or 1 hour, as long as you commit the rest of the day to Him, I am sure the troubles of the day would have less impact on you compared to having no time with Him at all.

• I saw that our homeschooling year for the third year lacked planning and scheduling. Because I just had too much to do doesn't give me the excuse not to plan appropriately the lessons to be covered. Whether you're new at home education or a pro, I believe nothing beats a parent-teacher who is prepared with the lessons and has extra tricks up her sleeves when the need arises. Diligence in planning and consistency in implementing need to be developed. 

• If the emotions are running high, run away from it. Don't let your frustration and anger get the best of you and hurt your child. You know yourself. You know what makes you lose it. So before you finally explode and do crazy things, stop and run away from the situation. Tell your child, you just need to step away for a while, you need a time out. Go somewhere where they cannot see you and breathe. Calm down and PRAY! There is no urgent need that a mother whose top is about to blow! Cry out to God to help you and I assure you, He will give you the grace you need for that moment. 

• Parenting skills and homeschooling work together. If you have not developed good parenting skills, you might find it difficult to to teach your child at home. How can you expect your child to do what is asked of him or her if obedience is not a trait demanded at home. I am not a parent expert but I seek older parents who share the same values as I do. Read books or blogs on parenting that are biblical and whose aim is encourage you to  be a God-centered family. 

There are a lot more aha moments this year but I focused on these first. I know I would be adding more to the list as the days go by. 

As I computed Coby's final grades, I was amazed at the improvement. I showed him his grades and he was happy with it too. I thanked him for  being patient with me and bearing with my flaws. Although, he is not yet graduating, I feel it's like a graduation of some sort for both us. Graduating from the childish ways and facing the challenges in a mature and Christlike way. We are both looking forward to the fourth grade with a new perspective,  healed hearts and a new home. To God be the glory. 

School Starts at Home: What You Should Know About Homeschooling

It was a sunny Tuesday morning at the first day of swim camp.  The coach guided the boys and girls to the other side of the pool, while their moms settled on the benches nearby.  One mom initiated a conversation with another mom, “So where does you child go to school?” The mom would then reply with a smile, “Oh, he is homeschooled.”  She paused for a while before replying while the other moms listened in the conversation.  “Oh, home school,” she looked puzzled.  “How about his socialization,” she further inquired.  The homeschooling mom asked back, “What about it?”

Socialization starts at home

As a homeschooling mom now for three years, the question on socialization would always be raised whenever I reveal that we are a homeschooling family.  I would patiently explain that socialization is never an issue with homeschooled kids as some would assume.  The Encarta dictionary says that to socialize means to take part in a social activity or behave in a friendly way to others.  ‘Social activity’ and ‘behaving in a friendly way to others’ is not confined solely inside the classroom amidst 40 or so classmates.  A child can be friendly in any social setting, may it be in the kitchen with mom and the helper, in the playroom with a younger or older sibling, in the neighbourhood, in church, in family get-togethers—name it, there is always a place where a child can “socialize”.  I believe that socialization really starts at home, as soon as the baby is born.  The baby’s first connects with the mom, the dad, brothers or sisters, the grandparents, helpers, relatives and friends.   The parents’ values, behaviour and manners are unintentionally or sometimes intentionally modelled to the children.  Homeschooling encourages bonding with the family and for parents to teach and model character traits that teach independence, responsibility, confidence and respect. 

Math in the Kitchen

One homeschooling program’s slogan says, “The world is my classroom!”  How fun would that be if the whole world or the universe is your classroom! Our son and I studied Science in the garden as we planted new seeds, cared for them and watched them grow.   He appreciated the lesson about caring for the earth so he practices the three R’s Reduce, Reuse, Recycle at home.   He is fond of creating artwork from old cereal boxes, cans or disposable containers.   We learned fractions in the kitchen by cutting one slice of bread into small squares and putting different spreads on top, 1/6 has peanut butter, 2/6 has strawberry jam and 3/6 has Cheez Whiz.  Our son loves to write love letters, so his grammar and writing skills are being developed constantly.  One homeschooling family shares that for social studies, they took a trip to Kawit, Cavite to visit the Aguinaldo shrine, the site where our country’s independence was declared.   Joy, another homeschooling mother of 4, takes her boys to the park along with crayons, paintbrushes and lots and lots paper to draw and paint whatever they see.  Homeschooling can be done anywhere.  Homeschooling families are not prisoners of the home.     

Homeschooling accredited by DEPED

The Department of Education has allowed homeschool programs to operate provided such programs are under the umbrella of a formal or traditional school.  Prospective homeschooling families can choose from a variety of homeschooling programs available including The Master’s Academy Homeschool Department located in St. Francis Square Ortigas, Pasig City (www.tmahomeschool.org), The Catholic  Filipino Academy in Chicago Street Cubao, Quezon City (http://catholicfilipinoacademy.com), Victory Christian School in Parkway Avenue Bonifacio Global City (8171212), The Living Heritage Academy of the Philippine School of Tomorrow located in Levitown Executive Village Don Bosco Paranaque City (8224433).  For more information on other homeschool programs, visit the Department of Education website www.deped.gov.ph.

More time to develop child’s skills and gifts/talents

The concept of homeschooling allows the children to spend more time in special skills or interests.  Since DEPED requires that homeschooling program adheres to the government curriculum, Music, Arts and P.E. (MAPE) classes are required.  Whether the child is interested in sports, music or art, he or she can attend any classes offered by the homeschooling programs or elsewhere.  MAPE classes are a venue for homeschooled kids to meet other kids.   Since these kids meet regularly they eventually become friends and can schedule playtime with them outside the MAPE classes.  Support whatever interests the kids are inclined to. Who knows they might turn out to be the next Albert Einstein, Beethoven, Eric Buhain, Lisa Macuja or Lea Salonga.  Aubrey, a homeschooling mom of two, says that homeschooling gave her daughter the freedom to explore her dreams of becoming a ballerina.  During her elementary days, Alex would have school in the morning with mom and pursue ballet in the afternoons and sometimes including weekends.  Now Alex is part of a prestigious ballet company in the country and has also been competing internationally in ballet competitions. 

Character is priority

When my mother who is in the U.S. learned that we plan to homeschool our first child, she was not really enthusiastic about it and I understand why.  She would argue that my brothers and I grew in traditional schools and we ended up okay.  But growing up in the 80’s is far more different than growing up these days.  Kids these days are so in a hurry to grow up that you can’t keep up with them.  An 11-year-old girl would beg her mom to allow her to have a boyfriend.  Young boys think it’s cool to smoke and tease other boys who don’t.  Sad to say but in the generation that we are living in now, it’s not all academics, it’s not how intelligent you are or whether you got a 97 or 98 in the card.  In one article I read about hiring employees, the interviewer does not really focus on what school you went to or what were your achievements, but the employer is looking at how you can deal with the people around you, they are not looking for IQ but for EQ. Tita Girlie, who is one of the pioneering homeschooling families in the Philippines just sent his son to one of the well-known universities in Quezon City.  Before entering the university, Josh confidently spoke in front of a panel of heads and professors of the university he is about to enter.  He shared with his mom that he is quite shocked by the way his schoolmates dress in school but he adds that he is thankful for the Bible verses and the lessons he and his mom studied in his homeschooling days.  Once Josh was asked who are his best friends, he proudly said that his best friends are his mom and dad.

  

Got Any Grapes?

"Got any grapes?" is a catch line I got from a Youtube video our kids watched called "The Duck Song". No, this blog is not about ducks nor is it about grapes...if I could, I can talk about food too. I just love how our kids  enjoyed the video that I decided to use it as my blog title.

Although, I kind of connected the grapes to one of the lessons I had years ago from BSF study. We studied the Life of Moses then and I remember the time when the spies were sent out to a foreign land to, you guessed it right, spy on the land. After spending some time there, the spies came back and gave conflicting reports about the land. Most of them were fearful and cautioned their leaders not to proceed with their journey. However, Caleb, who was one of the spies gave a different report. He said the land is promising and he even brought back gigantic grapes that were fastened to a staff and carried on the shoulder by two men. For Caleb, that land can become a blessing to the Israelites if they tread on.

Got any grapes?... Got any blessings? Despite negative circumstances and challenging people that surround us, God will always make sure we will have small blessings in our way. So... got any grapes?

Mama Needs Her Me-Time

I have met moms last year whom I have shared the benches with nine months. All of us wait for our little daughters in their ballet class. I cannot say we have developed a deep friendship but I would say, each of the moms at least care for the well-being of the other moms. In one of our candid conversations, I have shared that all of us dedicated  moms should have our break, a day off or a Me Time. We need to get out once in a while just to recharge and think about ourselves even for just a few hours or a whole day even.

Thursdays are my Me-Time. My day starts with BSF, which is a bible study I have been attending for 6 seasons now or about 5 to 6 years. Check out BSF bible study classes all over the world at www.bsftinternational.org After BSF, my BSF classmates, who have become friends through the years, and I have lunch in one of the restaurants nearby. We catch up on things, family, business and just about anything. It’s our way of reconnecting with one another. Keeping the friendship alive. After lunch I would usually do my errands, pay bills, do grocery shopping. I would do anything on that day. I will not teach during that day but would leave work for my son to do while I’m out. I don’t spend the whole day out because by the time we finish our lunch or my errands, I am just too in a hurry to see the kids once again with a refreshed mind, recharged body and renewed spirit, ready to serve again. 

Some tips on how to spend your Me-Time:

1. Have an appointment with yourself. Moms need to have at least a few hours in one day without the husband, without the kids. Motherhood can be overwhelming most of the time because we are on call 24/7. That is why we need some alone time, just to step back and take care of ourselves.

2. Plan how to spend your day off. It may be a time to reconnect with old friends, who are also moms who need a time off from the family. Get together and have coffee and just have a good laugh. Laughter is good for the heart Maybe these meetings may spur new ideas on business or part-time work or even new inspiration to workout and be healthy. You may also inspire other moms. Build bridges, build relationships. When you became a mom doesn’t mean you have to be “alone” in your world.

3. Start a hobby. This may be a time to restart your old passions and just enjoy them. Passion for writing, for cooking, baking, arts and crafts, fitness, the outdoors. Or it may also spark an interest in reading. Spending your day off with just coffee and a book is time well-spent.

4. Have an eternal perspective. What do I mean by eternal perspective? Your life, where does it all lead to? Have you ever thought of where you are going to spend eternity? How is your relationship with God? Jesus Christ? We need to consider this when we think of eternity. This world and everything in it all are temporary. They will rot away, turn to dust and be destroyed. What is important is knowing who we are and where we are headed. Get to know God. Get to know Jesus Christ. You can do it on your own by reading the Bible or find a bible study group that help you get to know the God who holds the universe in his hand.

5. Beautifying mom. The current business trends today are food carts and spas or salon. There are a lot even in your neighborhood. Get the nails done, scrub those tired and achy feet. Treat that sore back with a massage. Not only will you look good but you will definitely feel good as well. I’m sure the hubby won’t mind touching those smooth and silky feet again.

It doesn’t matter where you spend your day off or how often you do as long you do have one. It is a must for moms! How can you give love and care to your family if you don’t care for your own body. You cannot give what you do not have. If your schedule is too hectic or you just can’t leave the kids, again as I said in number 2. Plan ahead. Ask a trusted person to look after the kids for a few hours. I don’t think they won’t mind, if they care about your well-being too.

If all else fails and you can’t go out, do what my friend does. She tells her boys that she will be reading her favorite book in her room and that she needs them to help her enjoy the book by not knocking on the door unless it is important. So far it has worked for her. She did not even spend anything at all. She just needed her kids’ cooperation. Or else the monster mom might come out of hiding.

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Move the Body, Awaken the Mind

To say that our third year of homeschooling is challenging, is surely an understatement. Coby, who is now 8 years old, is still excited but not about school anymore. He is excited to use the computer and play his heart out doing construction games. He is so eager to watch his favorite cartoon shows on T.V.  Sadly, for this third year, I have to compete with these insidious modes of technology.

I find it difficult to "talk about" the lessons with him now because he seems distracted most of the time. Although, these distractions can be good sometimes when he recalls movies or events that is related to the topic. Like when we were talking about MOTION in Science, he would interrupt me and get his matchbox cars to show me that the cars's position changed because they were in motion. But most of the time, these interruptions are not helpful at all, quite annoying in fact, for the teacher-mom.

His heart has been in the wrong place too, lately. He just seems disinterested and his eagerness to learn is dwindling resulting in the increase of  my emotional outbursts. Because of this, we find each other crying and asking for forgiveness again and again.

Imagine my frustration every time we do school. My student is disinterested, distracted and just have no energy to work at all. Quitting, again, is the quickest solution for me.  I just can't take it anymore. I have asked other homeschooling moms for tips on how to handle my predicament, which they say is common to all homeschoolers, but the advice just didn't work with him.

I read from one homeschooling blog that we cannot confine our boys to textbooks and sitting for a long time. They need to move around. They need to burn those tons of energy stored inside their small bodies. The writer suggests allowing these active kids to run around the house and do jumping jacks. One time, I asked Coby to do jumping jacks, he said he cannot do it and reminded me that he does not exercise.

Coby is not a sports person. He does not enjoy any sports activity at all. We tried soccer, swimming and even jogging but he is just not that into sports. Although, he loves to ride his bike and scooter.


But this morning, I secretly tried something new with him. He woke up early and had his breakfast. Since it was still early to start school and I have not yet completed my morning chores, I asked him to do some physical activity. Since he was riding his scooter inside the house, I asked him to take it outside and just ride it, without him knowing that he was already exercising. He did about 15 to 20 minutes of "scootering" and was huffing and puffing when done.

He said he was tired and wanted to rest first before school. I agreed with him and allowed him relax for a while. He took his bath and was ready for school. We completed all that we needed to for the day and an added bonus was Mama did not get angry! Yahoo! Coby was "pumped up" to work. He completed his work with minimal complaints. I would like to attribute that to the scooter ride. When his body moved, his brain was awakened so to speak. His sleepy mind came to work and it worked well, alright.

A new ritual is now part of our homeschooling day. I am praying that this would really work. I am hoping the effect would not be temporary as he surely enjoys riding his scooter or his bike. Next time, I will let him ride the bike, which would give him more energy, I hope.

Rush Rush

Rush...Hurry...Hasten...Run...

I asked Coby to read aloud his lesson in Language this morning. I noticed he was rushing through the paragraph without even stopping for the periods. I called his attention and reminded him to read slowly and with understanding. I would often catch him at times doing that, rushing himself to complete a task, a lesson or a project. And the results were always not so good. 

There was a need to stop the lesson and discuss this attitude of rushing. When asked why was he in a hurry to read, he could not give me an answer. Maybe he just wanted to finish the lesson right away so he could do something else, play, draw, or watch TV. He did not admit anything though. I pointed out that there was no reason to be in a hurry. He was not in a race, nor is there someone waiting for him to finish. So, why the hurry? I reminded him of our talk a few months back, about having time for everything. There is set time to study. There is set time to play. To eat. To sleep and rest. 

When asked if he could give me topic of the paragraph he just read. He stuttered because he couldn't give me the topic. That's because you were reading so fast you didn't have time to picture the words in your mind. Being a visual learner, Coby needs to have images in his mind in order for him to fully appreciate or grasp the lessons. I reiterated the need to understand the lessons well and not rushing to finish it just so he can complete the task. I told him I would rather that he completes a task in an hour with correct answers than completing the work in five minutes but with endless revisions and corrections. 

I asked him to remember how he was able to create beautiful works of art in his art class. They were all done well because he was not in a hurry to complete the artwork. He just enjoyed what he was doing and so the results were fantastic. The same principle or attitude can be applied to studying or even life. Completing the task hastily would get the job done alright, but how would it turn out? 

There is a time for everything. We don't need to rush into things or make things happen hastily. Everything has it's own time. 

God's word says it best in Ecclesiastes:

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain, 

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiates 3:1-8